Category: Bigs

And then they do

Once upon a time, they were babies.

They were small, and helpless, and you wondered if they — or you— would ever survive the learning curve that was young family life.

Of course, they made it. You did, too. There were mistakes along the way, heaven knows. Things said that should have never been given voice, things not done that really should have made their way on to the priority list.

But when it was all said and done, you stood back and you marveled because there, in front of you, was a fully-grown adult person. A person with likes and dislikes and passions and dreams and plans. Oh, the plans. Life was a wide-open possibility for this freshly-minted grown-up.

And your heart strained, just a little, to see how differently they had turned out from what you had expected.

He really listens to that music, huh? Wow. It’s so … rough.
She’s going to live in that neighborhood? I kind of always expected her to be a country girl.
He never picks up a book anymore. Guess I messed that whole “lifelong learner” up somehow …

But then, you see it.

Maybe it’s a phone call, asking for your recipe for cinnamon rolls. Or a text asking where you bought the candles that always smelled so good. Or a photo in your inbox: “Do these jeans work? I can’t tell!”

A friend recently shared that her daughter has finally dipped her toes into her passion. This friend is known for many things: her giving heart, her sly wit, her ability to encourage. She’s also know for her quilting. A true artist, her work shows all the hallmarks of hands gifted by God and set in motion by a joyful creativity. For years, her adult daughter has found her happiness elsewhere, leaving her mother to assume that she would always quilt alone.

But then …

A request: “Can you help me put together a little something …”

Of course.

Because you never assume that your child will walk, lock-step, in your footsteps. You never assume that they will want to embrace all the things that make you you.

And then they do.

And you couldn’t be happier.

Have your teens or adult children embraced any of your hobbies or passions? Do you work on them together?

Extending the lifestyle of learning

Since our first unsure steps as homeschoolers, we’ve understood that meat was hung on the bones of education by way of experience.

 

Early classroom educators understand this, too; it’s why our kindergarten memories center on hatching chicks and emerging butterflies, on paper cups of dirt sprinkled with grass seed, and trips to the farm to watch the sheep lose their fleece. In the best schools, these memories are still made. But even in those schools that fit the definition of “best” by society’s standards, hands-on learning, field trips, and other opportunities to learn outside of a textbook dwindle as students inch nearer graduation. Kids whose grasp of the politics of abolition might be enriched by standing inside the recreation of a slave’s cabin are never given the chance; it’s enough to read the dates, store them in short-term memory, and regurgitate them on a test that might bear the fruit of a college acceptance letter.

 

Most homeschoolers lament the rote, mechanical learning offered in most educational institutions. We see the shortsightedness, we feel the disconnect, and we vow to do it differently. And we do.

 

We make a lifestyle of learning important. We buy electricity kits and raise tadpoles. We go to art galleries and visit with a farrier to see horses shoed. We prioritize our educational spending, setting aside funds for museums and aquariums and zoos.

 

If you’re like us and living on a budget, maybe you even rotate, getting one big ticket membership each year, and visiting that spot so often that by the end of twelve months your kids can tell you exactly how much growth the coral reef in the back tank experienced. (True story.)

 

But then, high school looms.

 

And those tests

 

And suddenly, maybe a visual cataloging of the snakes in the reptile house at the zoo isn’t as important as learning to fill out a lab report. Or maybe all those times you blew off math in favor of another field trip to see the hardships of pioneer life up close really won’t pay off on the SAT. Plus, there are all those pre-programmed teams and groups and extra-curriculars that are going to score major points with admissions offices. And ohmygoodness, I do not have time to take you to see a staging of Lés Mis! You have to do 10 more pages in that analogies book before Saturday!

 

Breathe, Momma.

 

You know now the reality of the saying “the days are long but the years are short.” Your time homeschooling any one child is limited, even if your season of teaching your own covers 30 years or more. Achieve the goals God has called you to, yes. But don’t forget that going, doing, seeing, being has a richness — and a value— all its own.

 

You will not regret extending your lifestyle of learning into the teen years. You will not regret the discussions that arise from even the most tired and trite of outings. (Don’t believe me? Take your high schooler to a fire station.) You will not regret journeying as a family, asking questions, and learning together.

You will not regret it. But you will remember it.

Extending the lifestyle of learning | To Sow a Seed

 

This post first appeared on To Sow a Seed.

The price of mobility

If you’re a large family like us, then chances are you work hard to balance the budget each month.
We’re very blessed by what the Lord gives us and want for nothing that we truly need. But now that the children are getting older (Read that: Now that they’re able to get their driver’s license), we’re faced with a new financial dilemma — the price of a young driver’s auto insurance.
And simply put, it’s virtually unaffordable.
Which has led us to praying through and weighing the benefits of allowing our children to get their license at 16 or waiting until perhaps 18 (or even older).
Already, we have one daughter who’s 18 and doesn’t drive. She manages without a car for the time being, although that likely will change soon. The demands of her current studies will require a more convenient mode of travel than Dad driving her everywhere but for the time being, the benefits of paying for her auto insurance or asking her to work to pay for it do not outweigh the costs.
And the son turning 16 in May is completing his driver’s education requirements now, albeit without any expectation that a driver’s license awaits him later that month. It’s more about convenience and cost-savings that he’s taking the course now.
He’d like to work this summer to earn money, but not necessarily so as to pay for auto insurance. With a grocery store within walking distance, we don’t need another driver to run up and get some milk or eggs, and there’s no other place he currently needs to drive.
So here we are. Two children living in the United States and of or near the age to legally drive, and we still haven’t done it.
Costs are the biggest hindrance, but our needs at the moment just don’t dictate it. We can wait, all of us, and our children haven’t been raised to expect it.
Each of you is different, and we’re sure you’ve found other solutions to your car and driving dilemmas. Share your thoughts below. We’d love to hear them and are sure other straddle parents would, too. 

4 Things Kids Can Do Together

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One of the biggest challenges in straddle parenting is what business folks refer to as “team building”: those all-in exercises that build memories, make you drop your guard, and establish connections between players. But when your oldest is filling out college applications and your youngest is pretending to be a Bubble Guppie, where’s the common ground? Don’t lose hope — it can be done! In addition to strong family traditions (which require planning ahead!), these quickly tossed together activities bring everyone to the table to share their gifts, their conversation, and their laughter.

  1. Color. It probably won’t take much persuading for your littles to take their seats if you announce that a family coloring session is starting in ten minutes. But believe it or not, even older kids more interested in earbuds than flower buds will have their interested piqued if you have the right tools. Creative supplies like fine line colored pens,  woodless colored pencils, or Russian Sauce chalks make the process more fun by reaching beyond crayon-level exploration. Nothing that elaborate on hand?  Zentangle is a fascinating art. Books are available for bigs and littles, or you can just as easily print off some pages at home. Adult coloring books on various themes are also all the rage. No time to stock your shelves? Google your teen’s favorite topic and add the term “coloring pages” or “line drawing.”
  2. Make a movie. Who doesn’t want to see themselves on screen — or take a turn behind the camera? Using a smart phone, you can film anything. Inspire your kids with retellings of some pratfall-prone comedy skits, or let them conspire to bring you a dramatic documentary of their best bike stunts. Request a reenactment of a hilarious family event. If your older kids are already into story-telling, have them pull together a quick script that gives everyone a role and create an original short. If they want to polish it, have them tinker with iMovie or other editing software. Screen the final project together, and enjoy seeing what your whole family can produce.
  3. Play a board game. No, your toddler is not interested in a Settlers marathon. Neither is your middle schooler all that keen on being roped into Pretty, Pretty Princess. But games that inspire cooperative, team play can be a hit with multiple ages. Spontuneous, Caves and Claws, and Family Challenge are great additions to your game library. Sweeten the pot by popping popcorn or providing fun, fizzy drinks for everyone who joins in.
  4. Decorate cookies. Sugar cookies aren’t just for Christmas; as a matter of fact, they’re actually more fun for the older set when you suspend the rules of Holiday Shapes Only and open the doors to Anything Goes. Using a sturdier dough, just about any freeform design is possible. Yes, you might end up with an electric guitar dusted in blue sparkles alongside a lumpy rainbow, but all of your kids will be in one spot, working on the same thing. Plus … cookies. Win!

25 ways to make it feel like Christmas

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The days of December are long, my friend. Long and sometimes not exactly as falalalala-filled as one would hope. Whether it’s a too-tight bottom line, the absence of a loved one, or just a bummer of a day, sometimes it’s hard to grab on to the Christmas spirit. Never fear. With this handy list, you can conjure up enough cheer to keep the bah-humbug at bay for kids of all ages.

  1. Feed the birds. (There’s an easy craft here!)
  2. Make hot chocolate.
  3. Take a tour of the memories represented on your Christmas tree.
  4. Have a Christmas music dance marathon.
  5. Make paper snowflakes. (Pinterest has a gazillion templates!)
  6. Bake cookies.
  7. Read the nativity story in Luke.
  8. Whip up some peppermint-scented playdough.
  9. Watch a Christmas movie. (If you haven’t watched “It’s a Wonderful Life,” with your kids, you should!)
  10. Listen to a Christmas story.
  11. Read “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever.”
  12. Sing carols.
  13. Make some homemade cards.
  14. Make a paper chain for your tree.
  15. Donate money to a cause.
  16. Decorate your driveway. (Sidewalk chalk in areas without snow, homemade Snow Paint if you’re blessed to have the white stuff!)
  17. Plan a tour of lights.
  18. String a popcorn garland.
  19. Find something to give away.
  20. Light candles.
  21. Make fudge.
  22. Look at old Christmas photos.
  23. Simmer a Christmasy potpourri or diffuse a seasonal oil blend. (This list of suggested blends is great!)
  24. Tie bells to your doorknobs.
  25. Eat a candy cane.

What are YOUR favorite ways to welcome the spirit of Christmas into your home?